This year, I’m going on 3 years of blogging. 3 years of marriage. 3 years of living in New York. They are all very important and distinct events to acknowledge - mainly because they represent different things. Living in New York is a dream come true, but also implies that I’m away from most of the people I love. Marrying my best friend has its challenges as all couples know.
But 3 years of blogging marks a turning point in my life.
I’ve written over a thousand posts so far, taken thousands of pictures, and poured through thousands of websites. It couldn’t have gone faster. Why? Because I’m doing something I love and am passionate about it. Regardless of all the ups and downs, one thing I truly love about blogging, is being able to work (part-time) with my husband.
I was about 4 months into blogging when I had an itching desire to take outfit of the day pictures. Firstly, I had a friend who was studying photography at the time do it. But the frequency I needed pictures was far more than the ones we were taking. So as the new year turned, my husband tried his hand at my OOTD pictures. Ever since then, when I need someone to snap away, I resort to him when possible.
Given that he works, we have to rotate and plan around his schedule, but every time we have a chance, we’re off to shoot. Even though it might sound super convenient, it isn’t always. Often times, what people don’t see behind a picture, is what happened before or after.
We’ve had fights over it, thrown things out the window (metaphorically), and said we were never doing it again. But the alternative would be to pay for photography services, which is less than ideal. Sometimes I need pictures for the next day, or just for Instagram. So we compromised. Sat down and talked through how we could work together despite our personal relationship.
I don’t know about you, but if I had a fight with my husband, the last thing I want to do is smile at the camera when he’s behind it. Here’s how you can facilitate working with your significant other:
Work out a system.
Schedule a few hours per week to shoot. Although it’s ok to have impromptu shoots, try to stick to that schedule. My husband has one or two mornings off plus Sundays, so I plan my content accordingly.
Get a tripod.
We got a tripod. Best. Thing. Ever. Whenever I need to shoot something and I don’t have my husband, I just use the tripod. Of course, it takes longer to get the shot, and it’s harder to focus if you don’t have the tiny remote control, but it’s a great substitute. I’ve gotten some great shots throughout the years with a tripod (like here, here and here).
Compromise.
If your significant other works, like my husband, balance the hours you spend working and really hanging out together. For example, on Sunday’s, we always go for brunch or walk through the park and city. We enjoy a great meal together, throw in some pictures, and then enjoy the rest of the day.
Draw the line.
Don’t let work overwhelm or dismantle your relationship. This means don’t treat each other with the same level of intimacy or gratification when you’re working (as you would in your home). Blurring the line between work and personal life can be difficult, but really has its benefits. Zanita and Gustav are truly amazing models for this - you wouldn’t even be able to tell they are really a couple during work hours.
It’s never going to be easy working with the people you have a deep and personal relationship with. There are always going to be fights and misunderstandings, but you also gain a lot! My husband is the person I’m most comfortable with being behind the camera because I’m at my most natural state with him. It’s also a great excuse to spend more time doing something together.
Don’t overthink it and just try to enjoy!
X Eduarda
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